are you single or married?

[sarahincanada]

I was just curious as to how many here are married and how many are single, and if married or dating how does you significant other react to your psoriasis?

when I was single or casually dating I would always hide my psoriasis as I just thought most men would find it revolting. Luckily I didnt have it that bad, the worst was the scalp and thats easy to hide.

I met my now hubby when I was 29 (now 34) and 6 months later my dad died, then my cousin (only 45) died, I left my job to start my own business and moved apartments....just one of those they say can make you stressed and I had to deal with all, and gradually my psoriasis got worse until I had small dots basically everywhere.

Ive been so amazed by my husbands reaction to it, he honestly barely notices it and his attraction to me is the same if I have patches or not. I even let him putr his fingers in my hair, rub my scalp and thats huge deal to me after feeling so conscious all these years.

I want to let those who are single and perhaps feel (like I used to) that no-one would ever accept you are you are, that they WILL, if they are worth knowing. Your true soulmate will look past the flakey skin and love you unconditionly, anyone who doesnt is not worth it!

[sarahincanada]

perhaps this thread should be moved to the family and friend section, I only just found that!

[jjmesser]

I met my husband when I was 28, and in the middle of the worst P I'd had in years. I couldn't hide it because it was on the backs of my hands and my palms, elbows, legs, scalp, etc. Anyway, we met through friends and liked each other, so we went out on a couple of dates. He never asked me about my skin, so one night when we were just sitting around my apartment, I asked him if he knew anything about P. He said no, and asked if that is what I had on my skin. I brought my laptop over to him and we went through all the contents on the NPF website, and I answered any questions he had. I asked him if he had wondered what it was, and he answered "Not really. I just figured if it was a part of you, it was a part of me. And if it was something I needed to be worried about, you would've told me." I do believe I fell in love with him that night. We were married one year later. We are celebrating out 2 year anniversary in December.

Jody

[lpagano]

I have been married for 24 years. I also met my husband during a bad p outbreak, and he also acted like it was no big deal and still does. No matter how terrible it gets or looks, he still is attracted, it is never an issue unless I make it one.

[technomtech]

Hi...

Now i m 25, single and looking for a woman with psoriasis to marry. I came to know that only the person with psoriasis understands better than anybody else. I m still searching for my soul mate. But i didnt find a single woman from India with psoriasis. As you have seen, i have posted many titles here. But i didnt see any response from anybody...

Still i have hope... I will try...

Thanks,
Surya

[peggyb]

I know this has got to be an important topic to many of us out there. I was extremely fortunate; my husband and I had been dating a year or two (can't remember exactly) when my psoriasis hit. We already had a well established relationship, and he has been nothing but supportive and helpful ever since. He doesn't complain about the flakes everywhere, or the blood stains on the sheets, the furniture, or my clothes. He has held me when I've cried from the pain and the shame of being so ugly. He's never once complained about the cost of the treatments, meds, tests, or doctor's appointments, even though one year my co-pay for all that took over 1/2 of my take-home salary. If I can't get up and down the stairs easily, he does the laundry. I need a nap almost every day, and he makes sure I get it. I needed to stop working almost two years ago, and I didn't ask him or discuss it with him--I TOLD him I couldn't work anymore and I wasn't going back, and there was never a moment's hesitation, not one single protest. For a guy who doesn't have P, he's gone far above and beyond the call of duty. I wish all of you could be as lucky.
If I would have come down with P before I hooked up with my hubby, I think for me it would be a completely different story. When I'm at my worst (and the worst has been 70% affected), I become a recluse, I don't want anyone to see me, and I'm pretty much useless around the house. I'm sure I would have given up on dating, but that's just me, I'm quite the pessimist at times. I can't even go out with my friends when I'm flared badly, I can't stand for people to look at it or talk about it. I wish all of you out there who are still single the best; keep good thoughts about yourself going at all times, and maybe you should look for someone who has P, too! (and REALLY good health insurance)......

[dimple8]

hi evryone,

I am married, and I met my husband when i was at my worst,he says my Psoriasis doesnt bother him, sometimes i can't believe it myself that i found someone who look beyond this terrible disorder and love me for who I am, support me and yes listen and comfort me with my cries and depressions.

I have Psoriasis 99% of my body when it flares, but i am happy that right now 5% only of it remains.

[lpagano]

Something else I wanted to add as I think single people with p think a relationship is not going to happen for them, in my family there is a lot of p and pa, every single person with p and/or pa is married to someone who does not have p. None of the spouses think its an issue. Some had p when they ment their so, and others developed it later. I also wanted to point out that I have been married twice, neither hubby had p or pa.

[evergreen]

I'm married and it has never seemed to bother my wife, except she accuses me of 'primping' too long, when I am simply putting cream on spots (grrrr) - well that's pretty much in the past, since I've been on MTX & Humira (I have PA as well). I had it when I met her and, I guess my sweet personality won her over, not my hot flakey body. ;~)

[jbrickman]

i have a very supportive gf. her attention to my needs, and comforting hugs have been invaluable to my "emotional recovery" from initial diagnosis depression. she is one of greatest fuelers of my confidence and fire to get better.

-jbrickman

[KatieScarlett]

I'm single. Divorced, actually. Funny b/c up until about a month ago, when I was 90% clear, I considered myself very attractive & had no problems getting a date. Now that I'm 90% covered, I consider myself hideous & would run for the hills if a good looking guy came within a 100 foot radius.

Psoriasis can be a very humbling affliction. :(

[sarahincanada]

wow thanks for all the replies! its great to see so many with SO's who are fine with psoriasis, those that are single and think no-one could ever love you the way you are you are wrong, your true soul mate will love you flakes and all!

[Evey]

Hello,
I've been married for 14 years now. My first outbreak was a small one, it began about a year or so after I got married. It was scalp psoriasis, and my husband ignored it. After awhile it went into remission for seven years, re-occurred when I was 28 or 29, which took longer to go away. The scalp P came back with a vengeance when I started taking clomid for fertlity treatments (I was 34) and it has never gone away since.
I'm finding it's worse when I'm on IVF/pregnant. Since I've never sucessfully carried a baby to term, I'm about to give up trying. I've had two pregnancies that have ended at 24 and 23 weeks respectively in two years, so I'm just tired of it and depressed, which isn't suprising.
My husband is very supportive, he helps me massage my scalp, suggests things, looks for things that would help alleve the inflammation on my scalp and elsewhere. :) He considers it part of me.. hehe, he didn't even mind when I got desperate enough to shave my head! :) His comment was, "it's still you...you're not your hair, you are yourself." He's a real sweetie :)

Evey

[NPFLaura]

I've got to say that these messages are comforting. I'm single and 42 and have resigned myself to being single forever.

[jjmesser]

I have a single 35 year old brother in Tampa area. He's had problems with facial P off and on. It's mostly cleared now since he lost a lot of weight. Any of you single ladies out there, in the Tampa area, want to PM me, I'll try to fix you up. He definitely knows all about P, having lived with me for so long. He'd be a great friend even if you didn't date. AND, no funny looks at your skin...

Jody

[Danceswithcats]

I am married. The only psoriasis I had when my husband and I were dating was on the scalp and a tiny patch on one knee, but he knew about it and it wasn't that bad then.

[mildred1975]

Hi, everyone I'm new at this site, This is my second marriage, My first husband never mentioned my psoriasis, and we were married for 10 years, My new husband says I'm beautiful no matter what my skin looks like. I have severe psoriasis that covers 75 percent of my body, and my husband helps me with applying my creams and encourages me to find a relief to get better. I believe the person you are bound to be with, should be the one to support you all the way on any of your problems, medically , mentally etc. There is that special someone out there waiting to meet you. Good luck to those who are in search of that special someone.

[Kristenhrt]

Wow - this post couldn't have come at a better time for me. Thanks for putting it up here! I was starting to think I'd never find someone who didn't run for the hills when they found out. But I recently met a man that I told about my skin the second time we met and he's been ok with it. Granted, we've only been together a few weeks so I doubt if it will last BUT he doesn't seem to care about it. Very genuine person... Even if we're not meant for each other long-term, I'm happy to know there are ppl out there who don't care about our skin. WE'LL ALL MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL SOMEDAY!!!

[NPFLaura]

I'd like to add that the psoriasis is only part of the "package" that I need to get over. It doesn't help that my fingers are crooked, my toes are folding under and I can't walk without a limp. Add the fact that years of prednisone and a seditary life has added too many pounds...it's not a pretty picture.

[Hambo]

I've got to say that these messages are comforting. I'm single and 42 and have resigned myself to being single forever.
Laura I feel your pain I am 49 and have been single for over 5 years now and have also resigned to this forever, But who knows maybe we'll meet and complete each other