how old to start putting meds on by self

[janetmknox]

Hi everyone. Question for those of you, possibly Mike, how old do you think you should be to be responsible to put on your own med.s . I have been doing sams for 3 yrs. now (day and night). I'm not really complaining its part of beeing a caring and loving parent, but sometimes i would like for her to do it herself. She has occasionally, but i can tell the diff. from her doing it as if i had. Any ideas??

Janet

[PJ Leary]

Hi Janet,

I think it is time for you to begin teaching Sam how to properly apply her medications. Because she is a child, she will need detailed guidance, and your supervision.

She will need your supervision most likely for a few more years. As she matures, the tendancy to skip treatment will grow. She will likely be distracted by social and other concerns. The best thing you can do for her is to help make it such a regular thing that she does it without thinking. That involves a great deal of repetition.

Many of us know that our children remember their please's and thank you's without a reminder from Mom by the time they are six or seven. How many thousands of times did we remind them in order to establish that behavior?Same concept.:rolleyes:

If I can help in any further manner, please let me know. Hi to sam...:)

[Zwijndrecht]

PJ said it best...it's time.

I just want to add one more thing to all PJ said...

Mom, your baby is NOT going to do as good a job as you do. You have to let her stumble and fall a little so she learns her lessons. If you catch her before she falls everytime, when she does finally fall it will be a great big one. Let her do the little falling now.

[Moonchild]

I agree also.

I have had P for 25 years, and I am now 30. I don't remember my parents taking the time to apply RX's to my skin very often. My mom would apply cortisone to my scalp every once in a while, but that was it. I was an active part of the examination, and from early on, all of my RX's were kept in my room, and were my responsibility.(I had so many!:()

I wish my mom would have had the same patience that you speak of ! I think it would help Sam keep in mind that you are there(no matter what). I think she should be taught to apply, but a mothers touch is great for a child, she probably doesn't like having to go through it all the time, but it is great you are there with her.
Hope this helps-

[PJ Leary]

Hi Janet,

Z is correct that small failures are much prefered to major ones.:) I actually think of all of the stages of childhood as a series of opportunities to fail and to suceed when the stakes are smaller and gentler than they will be in adult life. This situation is but one more example of that.

[MikeK]

Hi Janet,

PJ and Zwijndrecht pretty much said it all.

Here's how my mom handled it. Mom taught me how to apply my meds shortly after I turned 9. She supervised and/or checked the first couple of weeks. After that I was on my own! I guickly grew bored with the twice daily ritual and often neglected my treatments. My body soon told me that was the wrong thing to do! I suspect that Sam will soon learn that she needs to stay on top of things and that putting on meds is just as important as say brushing her teeth.

Hope this helps.

Mike

[Allie]

And on the other side of the fence..... THERE's ME!!!

When I was dx, I was 14. By the time my GP let me go see a Derm, I was 15 & my scalp looked (in my Mom's terms) like a raw piece of meat. It took all of my Sophmore, Junior, and most of my Sr. Year in HS to get it under control. My mom would not force it, b/c she felt I needed to want to have it done, but she did the application of my scalp med. I had really long hair, that she would not let me cut & to apply the meds evenly and consistently was really hard. My Dr. prescribed my 3 bottles of Derma Smooth a month & we used pretty much all of those three bottles.... She left it up to me to do my body. IF I had a spot I could not reach, she would gladly help me apply it.


So in response, my opinion is, if she can handle the application effectively on her own, then by all means have her do it. But, if the application would be more of a waste for her to do it, then maybe you should cont. to help. At least until she can move on to a med that is more easily applied.

[janetmknox]

Thanks for all of your advice everyone. I did at one point last year when sam went into remission, be in charge of her putting on her own meds. It was fine for about 2 or 3 mo. (this was during the summer). Then when winter came it got out of controle again. It was like back to square one. When we went to go see the doc this time, i told her sam had been doing most of her meds. she told me as a parent it was my responsibility untill she was old enough and this is why it was out of controle. I did not take it to heart, i know what i need to do as a parent. Sam and i have come to a agrement. She does her morning app. and i do bed time. i feel this way, i can tell if she skips also. She does know how to put on her meds correctly after 3 yrs of me doing it and showing her, she knows. Lazyness plays a key role. She does have some spots she can not get to that i do not mind doing for her. I know she also is aware of how out of controle her p can get if she does not continue to put on her meds. again laziness. But if i think back to when i was 9, i don't know if i could do it either. I feel for her, but i know she has to face this for the rest of her life.

Janet

[mogleyboo]

My son has had P since birth. I used to do all the creams, goops and everything else. At about, 5 I started letting him put lotions on himeself. Once he understood that concept we moved to the tar baths. We would practice counting the caps full of tar until he could pour and count the correct amount. Then to the hair, at 7 he could put the shampoo in and let it sit on his scalp. I would have to help remove the shampoo to make sure it all came out. He also learned how to work his light box. He could push the buttons to the correct length and knew exactly when to turn. He also understands about sun light and is more than willing to slap on the sun screen and go out to play. We are now working on the more serious ointments, like the steriods.

I have noticed something as I have taught him how to do each of these. I would always be putting this stuff on him without fail, every day until he looked better. My son only uses it when he feels it is necessary. I wanted him completely clear, but to him "almost" is good enough. He is in control of his treatments and I think he likes it that way. If he doesn't want to use the lights that is fine, but he also understands the consequenses. He is also learning about the side effects of certain meds, if it dries out his skin etc. He knows when certain meds no longer work as well and let's me know. His sister has even starting in on helping him play dot to dot with the meds on his back where he can't reach.

He will be nine next month and he is controlling his own P. I can now spend more time with him as a son and not just slathering creams and goops on him.

[janetmknox]

thanks for the advice and reasurance. I think i contribute sams interest in putting on her own meds is lazziness as well as age. She has only had it for 3 years. I just can tell a big diff. when she does it herself. Arent you scared that your sun will burn himself with his light? Sam got burned once before with me being in controle of it.

[PJ Leary]

Hi Janet,

This is true. Complacency affects all of us at times. Unfortunately, all of us mothers would gladly suffer the hurts and injuries our children have to spare them the pain. Not possible, though. lol...

As for the derm saying it was your fault she flared, I might think about seeing another derm. We are all, as parents the guardians of our children's health. However, I know as a severe p patient, that a flare can come on in less than 24 hours. In a week I can go from 0 % to 95%. This is a very difficult disease to manage.

In my own, humble opinion, it seems to me that you have done an excellent job of supporting your daughter and becoming educated about p. It is very difficult to have a child with a chronic illness. I speak from personal experience, dear. That said, we all make some mistakes as parents, for which we must be gentle with ourselves. Hindsight is always 20/20.

[Marielle]

Hello Janet
Well I took your advise and actually put Jessie in charge of her meds also. What a change in attitude. She is not crying all the time on how much she hates her meds. I still have to do a few spots but otherwise she is doing it all on her own. She is even excited because I am letting her pick her own shampoo to use. I had her on a Monday, Wednesday, Friday Tea Tree schedule. Now she uses the Tea Tree whenever she feels like it along with T-Gel. I always tease her when she uses the Tea Tree, I say she must be in a good mood because I smell Tea Tree. So I do agree that the kids should be in some control of there P and meds. About what the derm said, I agree with PJ...Jessie went from nothing to 95% coverage in a week. It had nothing to do with me. It was a strep infection that had no symptoms. Well I am going to read on since I have not been here in a couple of weeks. Talk to you soon.
M