The Mind and Body Are Connected
“The idea that we can separate mental health and skin is antiquated,” says Richard Fried, M.D., Ph.D., Yardley Dermatology Associates in Yardley, Pennsylvania, who is both a dermatologist and a clinical psychologist. “We have known for decades that people with psoriatic disease have a higher incidence of depression, anxiety, issues with self-image, [and] higher school and work absence.”
I started developing psoriasis when I was 4 years old. I would cover it with Band-Aids, but soon my arms were so covered in Band-Aids that they ended up drawing more attention. I felt like the world was unfair and developed an intense fear and sadness at times. What I didn’t know was that anxiety and depression were starting to take root.
At 5 years old, I was convinced that at my next dermatology appointment the doctor would finally hand over the cure for psoriasis. That obviously never came to pass.
From the ages of 4 through 20, I was paranoid about wearing clothes that exposed my skin because of the bullying or exclusion from other kids. “We know there is stigmatization,” says Dr. Fried. “When people see [psoriasis], they blame the person.”
It’s a human tendency, Dr. Fried explains, to protect oneself by avoiding something that looks different and scary, which is exactly what happened to me.
In kindergarten, I was exiled to a corner of the playground with a girl who wore headgear because no one wanted to play with us.
The emotional stress of the disease and the reactions from classmates made going to school difficult. I was held back in second grade because I had missed so many days.
During that time in my life, a flare-up would cause intense dread and spark memories of past flare-ups – the itching, blood, flakes, and stares. My thoughts would spiral downward into panic.
According to Dr. Fried, people with depression are twice as likely to develop a substance abuse disorder. Knowing that, it is no surprise that I started drinking in the seventh grade. I instantly loved the way it made me feel – or rather, not feel. Drinking made me feel like I didn’t care what people thought. I was not self-conscious about my skin, and it gave me that confidence I knew I deserved. I did not care about things when I drank, and I liked that. I liked the confidence.
Alcohol became the way I coped with the emotional and physical pain from psoriatic disease.
Despite feeling better while I was drinking, when I would sober up, my mental health symptoms worsened. But I didn’t want to give up what I thought was the only thing that could make me feel better. And so my anxiety, depression, and drinking all continued to progress.
My anxiety progressed into panic attacks. I had my first one at 19, and I would continue to struggle with them several times a week for the next four years.
A bright spot in my timeline came at 20 when I was finally put on a systemic medication to control my severe psoriasis. However, I couldn’t follow the doctor’s orders to quit drinking because of my anxiety and depression, and I had to change medications.
In addition to seeing the separation of mental health and psoriasis as antiquated, Dr. Fried says that dermatologists should focus on treating mental health and dermatological conditions.
“I think one of the things we can easily do as clinicians, and should do, is be vigilant for how much impact the psoriasis is having on the individual and using that as a gauge of when it’s time to take the next step,” he says. “It can change the way we treat.”
No one in the medical field had ever suggested to me that my depression, anxiety, and psoriatic disease were connected. By 23, I was on a biologic, and my skin was clear for the most part, but emotionally I was fried. I was having panic attacks several times a week, suffering from insomnia, and having suicidal thoughts.
It literally took a panic attack on stage to get me into therapy, but I was still drinking, so getting to the root of my emotional issues took a lot longer. I was lost in a vicious cycle of anxiety, depression, binge drinking, and psoriasis flare-ups. I did not know how else to cope.